I Really Did Love You
by arianna532
Summary: Post All About My Brother. The next day after the party, Eric meets with Asher to talk. They bring up old memories and realize they just don't work together. Story is better than my summary. I promise.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl_

**I Really Did Love You**

Eric stepped through the too-clean halls of the Ostroff Center for what he knew would be the last time. He was about to leave everything he had of that place there. After all, I had started there, it made sense for it to end there too. He walked into his old room and sat on the bed waiting for the person he had come there to meet.

A brunette figure walked through the door. Just like he used to everyday before things got complicated. "Ash," Eric said quietly.

"Hey Eric," Asher replied.

"You know this is goodbye right?" Eric asked.

"Eric it doesn't have to be like this.' Asher started.

"It really does," Eric said softly.

"I guess you're right. There's really no going back is there?" Asher said sadly, "I was absolutely horrible to you. Everything got so messed up."

"I guess, when we were in here, the world went away. There was nothing in there but us. Then when we left, we tried to adjust back to our old lives and just couldn't fit each other into it." Eric said, wishing it didn't have to be that way.

Asher smiled, "We had so much fun here didn't we?"

Eric smiled back, "Oh yeah. From the first minute we met, we were trouble."

_Eric lay on his bed contemplating his life. How had he gotten here? Well he knew that much, but why did he have to be here. He hated this ugly place. He didn't have to be here. Everything was messed up._

_ Eric heard a knock on the door and looked up. The door opened and instead of another nurse of doctor, a brunette boy perhaps a year of so older than him walked in. Eric looked at him warily._

_ "Hey. You must be Eric. I'm Asher. The nurses are saying you won't come out of your room. So I decided to come find you." The boy said frankly._

_ "Well to bad. I don't want to be here." Eric replied._

_ Asher sat down n the bed next to Eric and just looked at him, " Look Eric. The longer you stay like this, the longer you'll be in here. If you at least look like you're okay, they'll let you go home."_

_ Eric considered. Maybe this boy had a point. "Okay, you may be right."_

_ Asher gave him a cocky look, "Of course. I'm always right." _

_ The two boys began to laugh. The sound of there laughing brought one of the nurses running. She froze when she saw the two of them, especially Eric, laughing._

_ Asher turned to her, "Guess what! I finally got him to agree to leave this room."_

_ "It's about time!" She exclaimed. Eric blushed. Was he really like that?_

_ Asher grabbed Eric's and and pulled him from the room._

Both boys were laughing yet again at the memory.

"I can't believe you just flat out said that!" Eric laughed.

"Well you wouldn't leave the room," Asher defended, "What? Should I have let you become a hermit?"

That made Eric burst out laughing again.

_After a few weeks, Eric and Asher were inseparable Eric didn't know why, but he felt closer to Asher then he had ever felt to anyone else, even Serena. There where about twenty or so kids their age at Ostroff and when he had gotten there Asher was without a doubt the leader, and when Asher had taken Eric under his wing, they acknowledged Eric as Asher's new best friend and second-in-command. Even though they were so close, Eric still didn't know why Asher was here. Finally, one night, Eric got the courage to ask him._

_ "Hey Ash?" Eric asked._

_ "Yeah Eric?"_

_ "Why are you here?"_

_ Asher fell silent. "You don't have to tell me." Eric said, worrying he'd upset his friend._

_ "It's alright Eric. I'm an addict My parents found out and shipped me here. Now your turn. Why are you here?"_

_ Eric hesitated, "Well I kind of tried to kill myself."_

_ Asher looked at him. "Why Eric?"_

_ "Because I was just all alone. I felt abandoned and hurt."_

_ "I understand." Asher said, "It was the same with me. My parents were always gone and I mean I had friends, but no one I could really talk to. No one like you."_

_ And Eric knew Asher was probably the one person in the world who actually did understand him. _

Asher smiled at Eric, "You were probably the one person who really got me."

"Same here." Eric agreed.

Asher looked at Eric, "What made you finally ask?"

Eric shrugged, "Curiosity."

Asher laughed, "And here I was thinking you were trying to make sure I wasn't a psychopathic murderer."

"Well. Maybe a little of that too." Eric smiled, "You can never be to sure."

"So true," Asher agreed.

_Eric and Asher were watching a movie on the couch in the rec room. They had been watching with some friends of theirs, but they had all left by then. They were both complaining about the movie. Their friend Katie had picked the movie and as to be expected it was a chick flick. But when the two main characters began to kiss, Asher stared intently at the screen. _

_ "Asher what are you looking at?" Eric asked._

_ Asher didn't answer, merely turned his head to look into Eric's eyes. Eric froze wondering if Asher was going to do what he thought he was. Asher reached out his finger, placed it under Eric's chin and leaned his face up to met Asher's. Asher leaned down and touched his lips to Eric's. Then he pulled back and looked at Eric for a reaction. Eric just looked stunned._

_ "Eric, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, just kissing you like that. Hell, I don't even know if you're like that. It's just I really like you Eric, and I was hoping you felt the same. But I was stupid and I..."_

_ Eric cut him off with a kiss. His hand made their way into Asher's hair and Asher's had made their way behind Eric's neck. They just began to kiss and Asher lick Eric's lips, asking for entry. Eric obliged and Asher's tongue entered Eric mouth. They sat like that and kissed like that for a while. Then Eric pulled back. "Does that answer your question?"_

_ Asher laughed and pulled Eric back towards him._

"Wow you sure surprised me, just kissing me like that." Eric said.

"Well I just saw that couple on screen and I thought about how much I wanted to kiss you," Asher said, eyes gleaming.

"What movie were we even watching," Eric asked.

"I'm not sure. I wasn't really watching." Asher laughed, "Go ask Katie."

"Hmm. Remind me. I doubt she remembers though." Eric sighed.

_Eric sighed. He was back at St Jude's and he missed Asher. It felt like just yesterday that they were together. But know with Eric here and Asher at Unity, they were never together. Especially with the whole Jenny thing. But Asher promised it was a cover and in time he would tell the world. Just be patient. He and Serena were walking to school, talking. Then he got a text from Asher telling him to meet him behind the school. Eric's heart sped up. He made his excuses to Serena the went to go find Asher. When he got there Asher was waiting for him and smiling._

_ "Hey Eric. I missed you."Asher said._

_ "Hey Ash." Eric replied._

_ "I came to visit you before school." Asher said._

_ "Oh I though you came to visit your girlfriend. You know the one you slept with." Eric didn't know why he was saying all of this. He just knew that he was upset at his boyfriend and wanted this all to stop._

_ "Eric," Asher sighed, "I told you. Jenny's just a cover. I only love you. None of its true. I would never do that to you. You know that right?"_

_ "Fine," Eric agreed._

_ "Still love me?" Asher said smirking jokingly._

_ "Absolutely," Eric replied, not sure if he was telling the truth anymore._

_ Asher kissed Eric like he always did. A kiss that used to leave Eric with week knees and sure of his love. Now none of that happened and he realized he didn't know how he felt anymore._

Eric sighed, "I remember that."

"Our last good moment." Asher said.

"Well kind of," Eric disagreed, "You were still cheating on me with Jenny."

"Well maybe, our last good moment was in the Ostroff Center." Asher allowed.

"Yeah." Eric said, "Now do you understand. You only work here. And I don't think either of us wants to be here forever."

"I guess you're right," Asher said reluctantly "But for what it's worth, I really did love you."

"Eric smiled, "I know."

**Author's note: This is set after All About My Brother. The stuff is italics is memories and the regular stuff is their current conversation. Please Review!**

**-Arianna**


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